When I suggest Tantra to my clients, some of them feel intimidated by the idea. Their mind automatically jumps to crazy sexual positions they’ve seen in Kama Sutra books. They can even feel some performance anxiety and create an unrealistic expectation for taking on this practice. But, once they understand they can build more intimacy and pleasure into their sex life, they are excited to experiment in growing their trust and connection.
The focus of tantric teaching helps couples feel and relax into their bodies by being more in touch with their breath. Breathing techniques can be beneficial to sexual pleasure as well as provide mind-body awareness. The more couples can connect their mind, body, and spirit, the more engaged they can be with all of their senses. These meditative practices can expand your ability to feel your sexual energy increasing throughout your body which makes lovemaking more pleasurable.
As busy humans, we spend a lot of time in our heads thinking about, evaluating and planning our lives. We have little time for relaxation and “being.” We numb our emotions by filling every waking moment with activities so we don’t have to deal with uncomfortable emotions or have difficult conversations. We become workaholics to feed our ego and our sense of achieving. We turn on the radio or tv so we are never truly alone with our thoughts and feelings. These activities cause us to disconnect from ourselves and our partners. We get trapped in the stories in our heads and our energy can get stuck and prevent us from experiencing the connections we long to create.
Tantra can be a useful tool for slowing down and getting grounded in our bodies again. Check out these five ways that Tantra can bring healing to your body, mind, and spirit:
Slowing down – When we are stressed, we tend to only breathe with the top third of our lung capacity. Making time to focus on how our body feels when we take deep breaths can induce a sense of calm and connection with our own body, feelings, and sensations. When we are able to relax into our body, sensitivities arise that we may otherwise miss out on in our rushed states. Sex might be dull and uninteresting because we don’t make time to create space to enjoy pleasurable feelings. We focus on the orgasm and rush to see who can achieve climax first. We’ve lost the reason for coming together to connect with our partner’s body, mind, and spirit.
Our bodies are designed to feel and enjoy pleasure. It’s part of what makes life rich and memorable. Giving ourselves permission to feel pleasure is the essence of self-care and self-love. Our bodies have an inner wisdom that we can only access in a relaxed and mindful state. When we practice breathing we naturally feel more present, passionate and happy.
Self-acceptance – Adding sounds to our breath can bring about healing in our bodies. Releasing stored up energy through sounds can open up channels for eradicating shame, guilt or other trauma that has been stored in our cellular memories. When energy can’t flow freely through us it is stored in our tissues and organs causing disease or pain.
When we release this stored up energy we are once again able to give ourselves permission to love and accept who we are without the need to hide behind a mask. We are then free to live life in a manner that brings us joy, passion, pleasure, and love. When we feel deserving or worthy of these emotions we are able to receive from our partner.
Attract more – The Law of Attraction is more prevalent in your life. You being to attract more abundance into your world. You become more clear and focused to set intentions for what you want out of your relationship, in terms of money, career changes and becoming the best version of yourself.
When you feel whole, you feel empowered to advocate for yourself and ask for what you really want. When you are able to speak your truth without feeling guilty or awkward, you increase your connection with your partner. You are able to trust your intuition and tap into your superpowers.
Uplevel relationships – When you take time to care for yourself, your energy cup is overflowing and you have more to give. You are able to believe the best in your partner. You are able to take radical responsibility for your life and you are able to be generous in meeting your partner’s needs.
You are the ability to see the good things in your partner and believe their intentions are pure and motivated by love. You no longer need to keep a list of wrongs because they no longer matter, you are able to learn from miscommunications and self-correct for deeper communicating moving forward.
Deepen feelings/emotions – You learn how to let go of pent up emotions and empress them more fully. You realize that intimacy with yourself enhances the intimacy you share with your partner. You feel safe to let go and explore rapture, erotic pleasure and much much more!
You look at opening up new layers of yourself as an honor and you encourage your partner to do the same. Being known and knowing others deeply is a human desire shared around the globe. The more in touch you are with your emotions and the more you can accept and support your partner the better the pleasure you will share together.
You might be thinking, Hey! I’m single can Tantra be beneficial to my well being! Yes, it absolutely can! Getting in touch with our inner being has many advantages to when you meet a partner you want to share more with. It allows you to really know what feels good and right to you. It also provides time and a safe space to evaluate your own attitudes toward your body, sex, and limiting beliefs.
There are many aspects of Tantra meditations, breathing techniques and massage that can be practiced solo or with a partner. Taking time for self-discovery and self-exploration is a powerful way to enhance your personal growth journey. Keeping a sensuality or sex journal along the way will help you identify areas that Tantra can open your mind to experience new parts of your being free from guilt or shame.