When I share that I am an intimacy coach, and I work with couples to help them increase their connection and intimacy levels, people often assume we focus solely on physical intimacy. The truth of the matter is, if couples want to have increased physical intimacy, they need to focus on building emotional intimacy first.
Trust is a crucial component to creating intimacy. Vulnerability plays a vital role in deepening intimate bonds. That comes through consistently investing time and energy into your relationship. That might sound like work, but it doesn’t have to be! Intimacy building activities can be fun and playful.
Just like anything in life, if you want to be good at it, you have to practice. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel until it becomes second nature. So let’s look at five benefits of building emotional intimacy with your partner.
Longevity – Relationships go through cycles of heavy attraction and waning attraction. Usually, when one partner is highly attracted, the other expresses less interest, so there is a natural tension between couples. Understanding that is the natural rhythm can reduce stress when one partner is more romantic than the other.
When couples take time to invest in their emotional connection, there is a foundation to fall back on when you hit the bottom side of the cycle. Building in regular date nights can help maintain a constant connection during the times when you don’t “feel” the romance.
Levels the playing field – When couples enter into a relationship, their hormones often inflate their romanticism, and they put unrealistically high expectations on their potential partners. When expectations aren’t met, disappointment occurs. If there isn’t a solid foundation to work from, relationships can fall apart quickly.
The longer couples are together, the more comfortable they become in their likes and dislikes, and the more tolerant they become in their separate routines. Drifting apart occurs when there shared experiences are few and far between. With more shared experiences comes deeper levels of trust and commitment.
Higher levels of respect – Arguments happen, and we can lose our tempers. Couples who have cultivated emotional intimacy are more likely to be kind and compassionate to their mate during times of disagreement or change. They choose to believe their partner is doing their best.
Honoring our partner by using words that address the issue and not attack character will prevent resentment and hurts from piling up. Using our language skills and tapping into our partner’s preferred love language can help us communicate more effectively and not damage our partner’s sense of security in the relationship.
You see and hear your partner – You cultivate a sense of belonging when you build emotional intimacy. An atmosphere of being seen and heard promotes better communication and deeper levels of vulnerability. Partner’s who listen with the intent to understand their partner more fully and deepen their level of acceptance and love are met with an attitude of willingness to work through disagreements.
At our more basic level, we have a deep seeded desire to belong and be loved. Creating a safe space to share who we are with a partner who has a genuine interest in our ideas, opinions, and history opens up limitless possibilities for close tender exchanges.
Improved health – When couples take time to cultivate emotional intimacy, their body responds by producing dopamine and oxytocin. These hormones create a a chemical connection that in turn, increase their emotional bond and create a desire to spend more time together, which activates their libido.
Couples who have a rich emotional connection experience higher sex drives and more fulfilling sexual encounters. Women especially have heightened sex drives when they feel emotionally secure with their partner. Sexual activity has many health benefits like reduced blood pressure, lower levels of stress, happier moods, and much more.
Many relationships fail due to irreconcilable differences. These differences are brought about by a lack of emotional connection. Deep levels of trust and connection happen over time. Intentionally planning activities that allow for risk-taking, facing fears, and building things together will open up potential paths to share more of yourself with your partner.
Create consistent opportunities to learn and grow and expand your horizons together. The closer you are on an emotional and spiritual level, the more mind-blowing your sexual experiences will be.