Feeling distant from your partner after becoming new parents? You’re not alone. Relationship problems are fairly common among couples who have just had a new baby, but there are also some fairly simple ways to resolve those issues and reconnect. First, you have to be willing to put in some time and effort to working through these problems. Then, you can take the following steps to rekindle the romance and strengthen your bond as a couple.
Soothe Your Stress About Spending Time Away From Baby
You probably already know you need quality time with your partner in order to reconnect and keep your relationship strong. Finding that time alone, however, can present some challenges. Start by keeping your couple time simple with a few minutes of cuddling or kissing, and then try to find even more time for one another. A good way to find that extra time is to hire a babysitter, but that can also inspire some feelings of anxiety. If you’re careful enough with the sitter screening process, you can relieve a lot of that stress and feel less guilty about stealing time away to reconnect with your partner. The screening process should include a background check, which involves checking for criminal history and verifying the candidate’s identity and qualifications. If you’re doing the latter yourself instead of a babysitting service, make sure you get the candidate’s permission in writing.
Discuss Your Concerns About Your Relationship and Intimacy
One of the most important building blocks of a healthy relationship is the ability to have healthy conversations about that relationship. If you can improve communications with your partner, you will have a much easier time reconnecting after becoming new parents. Try to make small talk with one another between all the changes and feedings, and also try to really listen when the other is speaking. This latter part is especially key when you are discussing any anxieties or fears you may have after having a new baby. For instance, Kindred Bravely explains that many new moms stress about sex after baby, and concerns can range from confidence in their post-baby body to concerns about possible pain associated with post-baby sex. It’s important for mothers to be able to discuss these issues with their partner, but it’s also important to find other ways to physically connect, like holding hands. Also, don’t feel weird about scheduling intimacy, since doing so can help your relationship thrive and is recommended by experienced relationship counselors.
Improve Your Sleep Routine, Even While Caring for a New Baby
Planning date nights and even planning intimacy can help revive your relationship after becoming new parents. If you’re both sleep deprived, however, you may not have the energy for either. Without sleep, you are more likely to feel anxious, and you may also have more physical pain, which can make it difficult to spend quality time with your partner. So, before you start looking for strategies to reconnect, try looking for ways to recharge your sleep. You’ve likely heard this before, but try to get some sleep whenever your baby is sleeping. That means turning off your phone and ignoring any other tasks until you’ve managed some rest. Spending time alone in your bedroom can improve your sleep and sex life as well. However, since getting your baby to sleep in a crib can be challenging, make sure he or she is ready for the transition. By prioritizing sleep for both parents, you can improve your mood and boost your energy, so that you can spend more time focusing on reconnecting and recharging your relationship.
Relationships take work, especially after a new baby. With simple but meaningful gestures, you can make that work feel like less effort and make your connection as a couple a real focus again. So make time to work through your most pressing concerns to reconnect and revive the romance between you and your partner.
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